Anxiety is rarely a single, isolated feeling. More often, it feels like a physical takeover — a sudden tightening in the chest, a racing heart, or a mind that refuses to quiet down, spinning out scenario after scenario in the middle of the night. When we are caught in the spiral of overthinking, it feels impossible to find solid ground.
In my practice as a counselling psychologist, clients often tell me: "I just want to get rid of my anxiety." It is a natural response to discomfort. But the truth is, anxiety is not an enemy to be conquered. It is a signal. It is your nervous system's way of trying to protect you, even if the alarm it is sounding is no longer appropriate for the situation.
"Anxiety isn't a defect of character. It is an alarm system that has forgotten how to turn itself off. Healing is about teaching your body that it is safe to quiet the alarm."
Why Does Overthinking Take Over?
When our brain senses stress (whether from a demanding job, a relationship conflict, or unresolved past experiences), it activates the amygdala. This triggers our fight-or-flight response. When we can't physically run or fight, that intense survival energy gets redirected inward, manifesting as mental spinning — or overthinking.
We analyze conversations, anticipate future disasters, and replay past decisions. Overthinking gives us the illusion of control. We believe that if we think about a problem long enough, we can prevent pain. But in reality, overthinking only keeps the threat response active, trapping us in a loop of worry.
Understanding the Deeper Roots
To quiet anxiety, we must look beneath the surface. Anxiety is often driven by underlying patterns:
- High Expectations: Believing that you must perform perfectly to be accepted or safe.
- Avoided Emotions: Using mental spinning to distract yourself from deeper, uncomfortable feelings like sadness, anger, or grief.
- Nervous System Dysregulation: Carrying stored stress in the body from years of running on empty.
Practical Steps to Ground Yourself
While therapy provides the space to explore these roots deeply, here are a few simple ways you can begin to regulate your system when you feel the spiral starting:
- Acknowledge the Signal: Instead of fighting the anxiety, name it. Say to yourself, "I am feeling anxious right now, and that is okay. My system is trying to protect me."
- Lengthen Your Exhale: Breathe in for a count of 4, and breathe out slowly for a count of 6 or 8. Longer exhales activate the parasympathetic nervous system, telling your brain you are safe.
- Find the Ground: Connect with your physical senses. Feel your feet flat on the floor, note the texture of the chair beneath you, or identify three objects around you. This pulls your energy out of your head and back into the present moment.
Anxiety doesn't have to define your life. Healing isn't about never feeling anxious again; it's about building the emotional resilience to navigate the waves without getting pulled under. If you're ready to explore what's driving your anxiety and learn tools to quiet your mind, support is always available.